family emails!

In the past year or so my dad started a tradition in our family that has been fun for all of us.  He emails us a weekly writing assignment, with a thought provoking question for us to respond to.  Usually it takes a while to get the ball rolling, but once the first person responds a couple more will follow along.  I wanted to share the last question with all of you, and my response.  Enjoy! :)



What is your ambition in life? What is your purpose?

"What kind of person do I want to be?" "How do I want others to see me?"

The first of these two questions are only now beginning to take shape for me, as I regretfully look back on my teenage years and all the things I could have accomplished if I had made better choices. I honestly don't remember having a lot of ambition, or purpose. But in all my bad decisions and mistakes I have had an idea of what kind of person I wanted to be, and how I wanted others to view me. These have evolved and grown over the years, but with the same basic idea at the root-I want to love others, and to be loved by others. I've always been affectionate and hope to always continue to be. It has always been easy for me to forgive, so easy in fact that I have often times forgiven too often, with people who's intentions were to hurt me and would hurt me again. I have always seen the good in others-I honestly believe that everyone is born a good person, whether they are acting on that goodness or not. I have honestly always wanted to know people-not just on the surface but really know them-where they come from, the monumental moments in their lives that have made them who they are, the people they love, and hope that one day I might become a part of their story. I have always wanted to help-another strength/weakness of mine. A deep desire to lift people up even when I have not been the most qualified, and many times, I've failed and fallen with those who I was trying to pick up off the ground. This is who I've been, and who I want to be; with some hard lessons learned through loving too much I hope that I can do what I can without so much unnecessary personal injury. I have to say unnecessary because it is inevitable that sometimes loving people, forgiving them, and helping people is going to hurt us-but that doesn't make it not worth it.

So now my ambition in life, my purpose. For a long time I thought about a great guy, who would marry me in the temple. That was what I looked forward to more than anything else, and I've gotten that so young in life. Now what? Well, a big part of my purpose is like mom's, to be a companion to John as she is to dad. He's my best friend and makes me a better person. Besides that, I find myself with a LOT of budding ambitions-get a college degree, see the world, be a mother. The specifics of these things for me are somewhat vague-what do I want to study in school, where do I want to go, when are John and I going to have kids-all these questions have endless possibilities. I wonder if that's part of who I want to be-a girl with endless possibilities. I don't think that's such a bad thing. But starting now, with provocation from this email, I'd like to finish that phrase. 'A girl with endless possibilities that takes them' I want to be remembered as taking every opportunity to be well rounded, to be loving and charitable, someone who loves her family, her husband, and her kids. In a word, I'd like to be known as as classy-exhibiting admirable personal qualities. Being as young as I am, I feel like I have so much time to develop answers to these questions-maybe every two to five years we should re-ask ourselves and watch our ambitions grow and change, and hopefully come closer to who we strive to be.

Maya Angelou said, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Now, whether or not this is totally true, I can't be one hundred percent. Many famous people have left behind amazing stories, films, buildings, etc. I remembered the words that Maya Angelou said and used them in replying to this question. I think we can agree that what people do and say can invoke a lot of feelings, and that while exact words and deeds can fade the feelings never do. I hope that my impact can be felt in the world, even if it's just for a few people, even if its just felt by all of you. I hope that who I want to be can become more and more real as I strive to be a charitable person, and that I can leave people feeling hopeful, happy, and loved. That's what I've got figured out for now-ask me again in a couple of years :)


Love, Katie